I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
