I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
