so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
