I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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