I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The beer is more important than you right now.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
