I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
