Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
