Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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