So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
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They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
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A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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