i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
