I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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