I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
