That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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