David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
