New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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