Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
we should paint friendship bongs
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize