I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
