on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
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you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
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I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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