Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
