Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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