WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.