I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
