Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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