And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
