That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
