he shaved USA in his pubs
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
