i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
