I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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