I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
