So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
