some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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