just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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