she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
