I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
