He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
