Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
