I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
