Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
