well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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