So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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