real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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