its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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