So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
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If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
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....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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