i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
high people should be assigned attendants
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
