Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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