I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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