Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
