i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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