she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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