He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
lets start a swedish sibling band together
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
