dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
