No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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