im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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