I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
