4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
