"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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