Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
