I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
