i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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