I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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