drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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