I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
