I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
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