are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
