well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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