I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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