He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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