He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
