Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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